Why Am I Awake??? Oh, Contractions!

The Big C
April 26, 2009

So, today's the day! I've been awake for a few hours because my contractions have been coming around every 10 minutes, making it nearly impossible to sleep. I watched my screen saver for a while, just crying because seeing all of the pictures of my family reminded me how much I've missed them, how long I've been here, and how much love I have for them.

I was really hoping to avoid labor all together, but it's just not happening. To all you women who do this the 'natural' way, I applaud you. It's no easy task. It's about 5:30 in the morning right now, and I figured I'd write one last entry before they put me under. Stake Conference was yesterday and today, so I'm missing Jeffery R. Holland's talk, which kinda bums me out...but this is an excellent reason, don't you think?

I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful family. I love Brian so much, and am so grateful to be able to share the responsibility of raising these children with him. What a wonderful example he is to them, and to me. I am so glad he will be here with me today for the birth of his new boy. I've been looking at pictures of the past 3 years and have realized how things have progressed and changed and grown. In the grand scheme of it all, this is an exciting ride I wouldn't want to share with anyone else.

They're moving the surgery up from 1pm to around 9:30-10:00. If all goes well I should be able to call you guys by the end of the day. There is a chance Jimmy will have met the requirement of 4 lbs., that his lungs are excellent and that he could even come to the post-pardum room with me. What a blessing that would be, that probably is taken for granted, nearly too much.

Everyone has been a wonderful help and support to me and I am filled with gratitude and love for you all.

hugs!
terrah

Tomorrow's The Day

Here We Go!!

April 25, 2009

Today has been an interesting day. My body seems to be cleaning itself out in preparation for tomorrow. I've been sick most of the day, and really apprehensive about the surgery tomorrow.
It is scheduled for 1pm, however, the charge nurse has just informed me they aren't too busy tomorrow and so the surgery may be earlier.

I am grateful for the really great nurses here at Winnie, and even more grateful that Dr. Kim will be able to perform the C-section tomorrow.

I got some visitors today, and boy was that a nice change. The time here has passed faster than expected. I came on a Monday, and here it is, Saturday...the day before Jimmy comes. Hopefully I will be here only for the standard 3 days post-op, and with even more luck, Jimmy will come home with us!!

He's not been moving a TON today, but there has been an increase in contractions, so I know he's getting ready. After the day I had today, I wouldn't be surprised if I go into pre-labor tonight....watch, just because I said that, he'll make me into a liar :)

I've been passing the time making hair bows for Elise, lots of them. Between that and resting because of feeling so sick, the day has flown by.

I miss Brian and Elise. It's been hard to be away from them for so long. This is the longest I've ever been away from them both...and it's more difficult than I imagined. They are my world, and I realize being in the hospital how easy it is to take for granted the people you love with your whole heart. I've learned from this experience to make the most of the time you have with the ones you love. It is hard to be without them, and it is easy to forget how much you really depend on their love to make it through the day.

I am continually grateful for those friends and family who have helped us during this time...either watching Elise, visiting, calling or just praying for Jimmy and me. I love you all, and can't wait to bring Jimmy to you!

love
terrah

Just Over a Day!

April 25, 2009

I feel like I'm being s broken record here!!

I'm still in the hospital with the surgery scheduled for Sunday at 1pm. The nurses have been great and the care has been exceptional.

It has been wonderful to see family or hear from and friends too...it is s blessing beyond words. Thanks to everyone who have come by or called. or made sacrifices to let people come to help: To Kea, Nyla my playgroup girls Mom/Dad, Home teachers, Patti, Karla etc. and of course my husband, thank you, thank you!!! That doesn't even top the list, but I know you know who you are :)

My body seems to be trying to clear itself out for the big day. I've been a bit sick and exceptionally tired. I am nervous and tired...hoping for the best. I've met a lot of wonderful doctors and nurses who are taking wonderful care of me. I'm back on the monitor because the contractions have begun again, so it could be anytime, or it will be tomorrow. We will see!

Keeeping it positive and posted!!!

love

terrah

Things Are Picking Up

April 23, 2009

It is hard to believe I've been in here since Monday. There has been so much to do, and so many people to talk to, I couldn't ask for a better stay...honestly.

For those of you who have taken time out of your hectic/busy day, I THANK you so much for showing your concern for Jimmy and me. It is so uplifting to hear the voices of friends and families...and the knowledge that they care so much is definitely a spirit booster.

Everything still looks fine with Jimmy. I'm not sure if it's the nurses or what, but they are able to find him and keep him monitored better now than on Monday, and that is a HUGE blessing. Like I said before, we just need him to be at least 4 lbs. and breathing on his own.

My cousin Becky called today to relay a similar story. She had her baby earlier than me and was able to take him home within 2 days! That made me smile, knowing there is a chance, even if it is small, that we'll be able to bring our little guy back with us when I'm recovered from the C-section.

I'm passing the time making hair bows for Elise, catching up on scripture study and other readings...as well as making sure this is as documented as possible. Jimmy will have one heck of a history surrounding his delivery!!!

Other than the obvious being stuck in bed/bed rest, or not having a baby to take home is how restless I have become. You see, with the Restless Leg Syndrome, and not being able to get up and walk around, it makes sleeping and relaxing sometimes, VERY difficult. However, the doctors here are very sympathetic and compassionate. The nurses are friendly and accommodating, and of course, Brian is here as much as he can be...which makes the time fly and helps to shoo away fears and doubts. I love him so much!

Of course, if there are any more developments, I will blog it out :)

love

terrah

Doctor, Doctor!

Today has been a day of mostly great news!!!!

April 23, 2009



I just got a phone call today from my OB from Celebration, Dr. Brandy Kim. She has been pulling some strings and has a C-section scheduled for me on Sunday at 1pm. She'll be able to come do the procedure, which means I will definitely be home by Thursday, providing I have no compliations. This makes me so happy, that a complete stranger will not be delivering Jimmy, but the OB I have been seeing and who knows my case. What a tremendous blessing!!!!



The tests done today for Jimmy have come back with relatively positive results. He's in the 3 lbs. range, with a good chance to hit the 4 by Sunday. The only thing that worries me is that during his tests, the one thing he is failing to do/show is practicing breathing. Hopefully, the steroids will kick in and his visceral/vascular/respiratory system will all be on the up and up for Sunday's delivery.



This couldn't have come emotionally at a better time because as optimistic as I am trying to be for both of us, it is not easy when the 'I don't know's', and the 'what happens IF' start playing mind tricks on you.



Thank you again, everyone for all of your love, phone calls (Jo, for the clothes!!!) and well wishes. I will continue to keep this blog posted for anyone to see the latest and greatest!!



love

terrah

No One Said It'd Be Easy!

April 23, 2009

I had 2 emergency ultrasounds from the time of my last post to now. There is a score of 8 points Jimmy was supposed to get to have a clear bill of health (for the most part) If it was 4 or less, they'd take him today. It is a 30 minute test, and in the last 5 minutes, both times, he pulled through and made it to a six, both times! The part he failed was that he was not practicing breathing. He was able to move, had enough amnio fluid and showed motor skills, like opening and shutting his hands. That was a blessing. Having it take him 29 minutes of the 30 to get him to get to a six, was really apprehensive for me...because if he hadn't moved, they'd have taken him out today.

The estimated weight is maybe just over 3 lbs. That's great news because if I can keep him in here and keep shoving my face full of food, he's got a chance to get to be over 4 lbs! I just have to sit tight and try to get this kiddo to grow!! His head is the right size, but the rest of his body is very petite. I'll have to get some pictures up here somehow...

As much as I'm praying and reading, and trying to relax, it would be a lie to say I am perfectly fine. I am just as scared as the next mom, and wanting desperately to have a healthy baby boy, and trying with my whole heart to not go into a full out anxiety attack over the 'what-ifs'.

Thanks again to everyone who has been so willing to help and contribute to Elise and the family. I truly appreciate your generosity's and kindness.

We love you!
terrah

The Latest

NICU

April 22 (afternoon/evening)
So, here's the latest news of the day...

NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) came by today to drop a bomb I hadn't even thought about.

Jimmy is measuring as small as 30 weeks. He must be at least 4 lbs. to jump the first hoop of avoiding the NICU. If he is less than 4 lbs., he must stay in NICU until he reaches that weight. The other factors that will place him in NICU are: breathing difficulties or other visceral abnormalities.

They told me that I shouldn't expect to bring him home with me in a week, but that coming home somewhere in the arena of 2 weeks before his original due date or 2 weeks after is more common. There is a chance he could come out at 4 lbs, and have great lungs...no other major health problems etc. and we could take him home. Worst case is he's not 4 lbs., has visceral issues and I'll have to pump milk and come several times a day for feeding and bonding until he reaches the doctor's opinion of dischargement. (is that even a word??) They said if he meets the criteria for NICU, I will not be able to hold him after the delivery, he will go straight to NICU, I will not be able to nurse him, but will have to try to pump and store milk for the subsequent days of his recovery. The first day, he'd likely be on some juiced up milk concoction that will help him gain plenty of weight.

It is definitely a challenge, hearing all of these thing and thinking of the worst and best cases. I'm trying my best to think positively. I constantly feel like I'm giving Jimmy pep talks to take every calorie in my body to help him gain weight, and use those steroids to get his lungs up to par.

This morning I was studying the scriptures and came across a quote that made thinking negatively, not so negative. I was crying by the end of the quote and still hoping this to not be the case, but nonetheless, this is what I read...I read a quote today by Joseph Smith who was contemplating why infants are taken so early sometimes, and it said:

• "The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

What a comforting insight to the Lord's will and wisdom.

Otherwise, the test and lab results that were taken yesterday have come back negatively, which is great news, but also expected news. I don't have any tumors, cancers, aneurysms, diseases, or otherwise harmful issues to Jimmy. The results that came back positively will be able to be addressed post-pardum and affect only me, not the baby. Yay!!

Yesterday was a huge day of getting things in order for a more comfortable stay in the hospital, for instance, finding the right medications for the problems I do have...like the headaches, restless leg syndrome, fibromyalgia and the other chronic pain issues. Today has been a much more restful day, and after Brian brings me the things from home to keep me super busy, this should be a restful and productive stay in the hospital. We are fortunate to have such good care here at Winnie Palmer, and to have reduced the majority of contractions. With the Lord's help and if it is his will, Jimmy will be here no sooner than Monday!!

Thank you all again for your support, phone calls, and prayers...I so appreciate them all!

I'll let you know if anything else changes tomorrow :)

love,

terrah